When a spouse wants some alone time, it doesn’t always mean they’re furious or that the relationship is on the rocks. It might, however, indicate that things have gone out of hand. “Sometimes we spend too much time with a spouse, or we miss our friends, or we simply don’t feel like ourselves,” Shlain adds, “and distance may help us restore the balance.”
The key is determining how long you should give your mate space. Should you take a half-hour break? Is it a day? Is it really a week? Is this to say there will be no texting? Or simply no face-to-face interaction? “If you do it correctly,” Shlain adds, “having a little space will likely make you feel more appreciative for each other and even bring you closer together.” So, let’s discuss how much time you should spend apart.
Because the issue is unique to your relationship — as well as whatever is going on in your partner’s life — the first thing you should do is ask them to clarify what they mean by “space,” and then ask how you can assist them in obtaining it. “It may be as simple as wanting more time to pursue a hobby or attend a gym class,” Shlain explains. So all you have to do is talk about your schedules — like when your exercise class is — and agree to split up at specific times each week.
Make sure you’ve had all of your inquiries addressed so you’re not left in the dark. Ask how you’ll know when your spouse is ready to chat again if they simply want an evening alone to unwind after a difficult encounter. You can remark, “For the rest of the evening, I’ll be on my own. When you get up in the morning, send a text.” You’ll both know what’s expected of you this way.
Trouble comes, though, when a partner “wants space” but is unable to articulate what they mean. “If they say things like, ‘I need more alone time,’ you should urge them to be more specific about how you might assist them,” Shlain advises. Make a few ground rules for yourself, such as “no texting during work hours” or “we’ll only get out every other night this week.”
Of course, you don’t have to comply with a partner’s request for space if it sounds ludicrous. “You should put your foot down,” Shlain advises if they show up one day and declare they want to explore the globe alone for a year. It’s the same whether they claim they want to “take a break” or if the time apart seems to be too long. Giving space isn’t about agreeing to anything one person wants; it’s about finding a good medium for everyone.
Is this going to be another difficult situation? When you live with someone, it’s important to give them space. When you share an apartment, it’s not only difficult to spend time alone, but it may also become second nature to do everything together. That’s all the more incentive to make sure you both have some alone time.
“You could leave every morning for a coffee, take a solo stroll outdoors, conduct some errands, or invite a buddy to meet you for lunch or supper,” Shlain suggests. “You could even go on a solitary weekend retreat with a buddy – that way, you’ll both receive the space you need and return feeling rejuvenated.”
So don’t be alarmed the next time your lover requests some alone alone. Instead, seek out information. Talk it over with your spouse until you figure out the best approach to give each other space, respect each other’s limits, and build a more positive connection.
You get to choose how long you want to wait for him to make a decision. It might be anything between a few days and a few weeks. Anything more than a month is stretching it, since he understands you have a life to live and can’t expect you to put it on pause for him.
It’s critical to recognize and appreciate your man’s desire for space. Don’t attempt to break it by messaging him all the time or making reasons to see him. Trying to persuade a guy to allow you in when he isn’t ready will simply cause him to PULL AWAY even more.
However, giving him the space he asks isn’t simple. You want to spend quality time with the guy you adore. That’s normal, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. It may seem unusual, but giving your guy space may help him grow closer to you.
“They need to take pauses from everything, even their partner’s contact, since they are easily overwhelmed.” Introverts may need more alone time, whereas extroverts may prefer to spend time in bigger groups rather than one-on-one.
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